The American Student That Goes To Hogwarts
by Pyro Sarah and CharNorse
Summary: Ahh... the classic Mary Sue. *sings* Mary Suuuuueeeee, we hate youooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...


The Evil Mary Sue

~Nora~ 

Mary Sue fell out of the sky. 

Her evil father, Lord Voldermort, was being a stupid idiot that day, he was 

losing his mind more then usual then. Anyhoo, he had dropped her out of an 

airplane at Hogwarts. 

At this point I would like to say that she was scared that when she hit the 

ground she would smudge her makeup, but, alas, she is Mary Sue Venus and 

needs no makeup. 

Anyhoo, she drifted slowly to the ground as she alredy possesed magical 

powers she had learned when she was three years old living in the slums near 

a huge quantities of books. 

She had gotten these books because someone dumped them in the street, She had 

used her supernatural powers to take them into her house. 

ANYHOO, she hit the ground, light as a feather, as she is incredebly light, 

had supernatural powers and is a Mary Sue. 

~Sarah~ 

Well, now Mary Sue is at Hogwarts, so she goes up to the castle. She meets 

Dumbledore, and he says, "Of course you must learn here! It wouldn't make 

sense if a Mary Sue didn't go to Hogwarts!" So Dumbledore went and got the 

Sorting Hat from his office. Mary Sue put the Hat on her head and it 

immediately started talking. "Hmm... well, oh wait, what's your name? Mary 

Sue? GRYFFINDOR THEN!!" 

Mary Sue went to the Gryffindor common room and met with the trio, Harry, Ron 

and Hermione. Harry and Ron immediatly started drooling and falling all over 

themselves, because Mary Sue is Mary Sue, so obviously she is the most be the 

most beautiful thing on earth! 

~Nora~ 

Neville, of corse, was drooling over her too. She took no notice, of course. 

She was too busy looking at Draco, who she thought was very cute. He was 

drooling over her at his table too, but Ron had gone by earlier and stuffed a 

sock in his mouth. (By the way, Ron and Harry were chewing gum for some odd 

reason) 

ANYHOO, Mary Sue went up to Draco, and asked him out that night, and he 

turned good and all that. 

Do you really want to know the details? 

You've heard them so many times already, do you really need to hear them? 

Didn't think so. 

~Sarah~ 

So, quick recap. Mary Sue, Voldemort's Daughter, is going to Hogwarts, is in 

Gryffindor, and is dating the now good Draco Malfoy. Now that I've had the 

pleasure of making you lose your lunches from hearing this sickeningly sweet 

story a second time, I will continue. 

This year, the staff of Hogwarts decided to have the Yule Ball this year. Why 

you may ask? Because Mary Sue was here. And she just had to have some kind of 

dance to go to. 

All of the guys in all of Hogwarts of course asked Mary Sue to go with them, 

but she declined all their invitations, and went with Draco, being as loyal 

as she is. She was the most beautiful girl at the ball. While dancing with 

Draco she had to step over all the guys jaws, which where now on the floor. 

~Nora~ 

Now, because Draco was now good, he and Harry became good friends. And, of 

course, Mary Sue's best friends, July Lou, who was also a wonderful trancefer 

student, but came from Russia and could therefor never be like Mary Sue. 

ANYHOO, Mary Sue was board, she had plenty of free time because she stopped 

time to do her homework and everything. She was getting better grades then 

Hermione Granger at everything. So she went home for a weekend to visit her 

daddy. 

Now, her daddy wanted to get rid of her. He daddy was a mean man that wanted 

to get rid of everything. Well, anyway, she went to his house and knocked one 

the door. 

He answered and Mary Sue told him that he was mean, and he should change his 

evil ways. 

~Sarah~ 

So Voldemort changed. Who couldn't when told to by somebody like Mary Sue? So 

Voldie became a nice guy again and changed his name back to Tom Riddle and 

everything. They hugged and everybody (Who Mary Sue brought from Hogwart's 

using her magical powers. Hermione-"You can't apparate or disapparate on 

Hogwart's grounds!" Hermione, this is a Mary Sue we're dealing with, she can 

do whatever she wants) lost their lunches rom such a sweet sickening ending. 

Then Hermione shouted, "How could you all! The house elves put so much work 

into making you this lunch and now they have to clean it up off the floor!" 

So Mary Sue made this wierd magical invention whatever that would clean 

everything forever, and all the house-elves were set free. They left because 

Mary Sue used her divine eloquency and persuasion to convince them that they 

could leave. 

~Nora~ 

But because of Mary Sue's lack if things to do after that, something awful happened.

There is a Mary Sue side affect that happens sometimes with, well, Mary Sues.

See, the people affected have something awful, awful happen to the. (At this point the addence gasps and people who have read this before loose there lunches.)

Mary Sue, Voldie and Draco, as they were the main charecters in the story, turned into Teletubbies. And then Mary Sue died, becuase she turned into a skinny Teletubbie and Voldie smushed her.

THE END

Sarah's A/N~*passes out buckets for the audience to throw up in*

Nora (CharNorse's) A/N~ I hope you liked that. We put a lot of effort into it. *Dragon, my muse, rolls over on her bed, still sleeping* If it was bad, it's because I'm tired and need sleep.

Disclaimer~Do we want to own Mary Sue?


End file.
